First Baptist Church: Sermon

Message for June 16, 2002
by Pastor Glenn Layne
Proverbs 31:1-9

Father’s Day, 2002

On this Father’s Day, I want us to ask a question: how does a man size up his life? How does he evaluate his worth? How does he measure his life as a success or as a failure?

Is Shaquille O’Neil a success today? The three-peat’s history and the money is in the bank, so he’s a success, right? The world would say that he’s a success—despite the fact that he’d fathered three children by three different women! All that matters is the won games, the mega-bucks and the size 22 shoes!

The dominant culture says that for a man, success is measured by three things—

Acquisition: the money and the things he has. The milder version of this simply says that he’s "a good provider." The stronger version says, "He who dies with the most toys wins."

Accomplishment: the things he’s done. This can range from the degrees he’s earned to the promotions he’s gotten. In coarser circles, this would include the number of women he’s bedded—women never regarded as persons, but as notches on the bedpost.

Activity: the things he does. The trips he takes. The games he plays—or goes to. The meetings he attends.

Acquisition, accomplishments, activity—these are not only a man’s measure of success, they are most often how he derives his sense of significance. Outside of Christ, it’s basically success measured by money, sex and power. Inside of the people of God, Christian men are still pulled to the same false gods as their source of significance.

It’s like those nets. Remember the nets last week—the nets that Peter and Andrew and James and John had to leave behind to follow Jesus? The net represented to them some little false gods that had to be dropped if they wanted to follow Him.

Long before the time of Jesus, there was a man named King Lemuel. All we know of him is preserved for us in the first nine verses of Proverbs 31. These nine verses are all about how a man should measure success. These are timeless truths from the word of God, words every man who follows Christ needs to hear and to heed.

How does a man measure success? King Lemuel’s mother gave her son a map of life with four keys:

(1) Remember where you came from (heritage) (vs. 1-2);

1 The sayings of King Lemuel--an oracle his mother taught him:
2 "O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows,

Who was King Lemuel? He’s a mystery man. Nowhere else in the Bible is he mentioned. On top of that, there is a possibility that we may have mistranslated the word "oracle" here—and that deepens the mystery. In Hebrew, the word for "oracle" is massa. Massa is also the name of a son of Ishmael and later the name of a tribe of Ishmaelites.
So we could translate verse one as, "The sayings of King Lemuel of Massa. His mother taught him…"
We have evidence that there were other peoples in the Mideast who in ancient times worshipped the Lord. We know that Melchizedek of Salem was a priest of "God Most High." Some Midianites worshipped the Lord. Job of Uz was a non-Israelite who worshipped the Lord. Perhaps Lemuel’s people, the people of the Massa tribe, were also faithful to the Lord. He certainly has a name that suggests that: Lemuel means "Belonging to God."
If that’s the case, it’s clear that He had a God-given legacy, a heritage of faith that was the faith of his ancestor Abraham. This legacy was put into words by his mother, and then preserved by Lemuel himself, and then is passed on to the world by the scribes of Israel who included it in the Book of Proverbs.
Note carefully what his mother says: "O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows." Do you realize what that means? He himself was an answer to his mother’s prayers. Vows in the Bible are almost always associated with prayer. A close parallel would be the vow of Hannah. In 1 Samuel 1:11, we read that in her desire to have a child, Hannah vowed that that child would be dedicated to God.
I wonder how many of us were urgently prayed for before we were born—even before we were conceived. Probably many more than we can imagine. I know that both of our children were prayed for repeatedly before they came into this world.
We were prayed for for our well being, but even more so that we would grow up to be men of God. More than anything else, Lemuel’s mother wanted him to be a man of God—to live up to his name—"God’s own." There’s a baton of faith to be passed on.
The first key to success is this: Remember where you came from—remember and regard your spiritual heritage in Christ. Don’t despise it because it was passed on to you. Cherish it as the most valuable reality that can be passed on from generation to generation.

(2) Remember whom you belong to (sexuality) (vs. 3);

3 do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.

This is not a general statement about marriage, or about a wife. It’s a statement about women as the object of a man’s obsession. It’s a statement about the sanctity of the marriage bond, and about the danger of breaking the holiness of that bond. It’s a statement about the single most volatile thing about a man: his sexuality.
Getting and keeping control over his sexuality will challenge a man like nothing else. It was that way in ancient times (ask David, who was a peeping tom with Bathsheba’s bath time) but even more so today when standards of modesty are just about shot here in the western world, and when pornography is just a pay-per-view or a mouse-click away.
Not only is control over a man’s sexuality about the hardest thing for a man, failure here will undo a man faster than anything else will. It will bust his marriage, sap his soul, and in today’s world or out of control sexually transmitted diseases, it could well kill him.
Remember than for any ancient ruler, there was ample opportunity to use his power to have almost any woman he wanted. And there were plenty of women ready to be had. And plenty of families happy to throw a nubile young woman in a king’s path as a way of gaining the favor of the ruler. Come to think of it, an ancient king was a lot like a 21st century American man. That 21st century man has all kinds of opportunities to gratify his desires: in the flesh, by video, on the Internet, and on and on. The challenge is steep.
Nobody ever said it would be easy. I’m reminded of the story about Dawson Trotman, the founder of the Navigators, that great campus and military ministry. One Dawson had a group of 19, 20, 21 year olds on a retreat and he asked a retired 80-year-old missionary to speak to the men on the spur of the moment. "Norm," he said, "why don’t you tell these young men how you overcame the lure of sexual temptation?" The missionary was caught completely off-guard. "Well, Dawson," he said, "I’m still kinda workin’ on that one!"
Nothing will form or deform him as much as his control over his sexual urges. Defeat in this arena will percolate over into other areas of life. It undermines a man’s moral authority, his confidence, and yes, still in the 21st century, his reputation. Just ask Bill Clinton, who will be remembered more for Monica Lewinsky than for anything else.
But positively, Lemuel is being urged to be faithful to his wife. "Women" may be a danger, but not his wife. Is it any coincidence that Proverbs 31:10-31, which immediately follows this passage, is that oft-quoted section on the noble wife? Marriage in the Bible is always considered a positive good. The Hebrew term for marriage is kiddishim (literally, sanctification), because marriage "sanctifies" the sexuality of the man and woman. That’s why I say that the second key to success is this: Remember whom you belong to—to the woman God has given you as your wife.

(3) Remember to be focused (discipline) (vs. 4-7);

4 "It is not for kings, O Lemuel-- not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, 5lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

6 Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; 7let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.

We can get lost here if we think that alcohol is the main issue. The issue is discipline, not alcohol. This issue is focus, not dissipation. A life given over to addictive substances will never be focused and will never reach its maximum impact. But that is part of a larger whole: that a successful man learns to be focused and disciplined in life and in his field of endeavor.
But drinking is sure part of it! Take an example: I recently saw a portion of a documentary on the making of the movie Jaws. You may remember that the great Scottish actor Robert Shaw played Quint, the tough old sea dog who knew how to go after the shark. Shaw died a number of years ago in Ireland, and the other actors recalled with sadness how Shaw was totally consumed with his alcoholism. Roy Scheider, who played the police chief on the island, just shook his head in sorrow. "When Robert Shaw was sober, there wasn’t a greater gentleman, a more intelligent man, a nicer man, in the whole world. But just one drink—just one—he became a mean, competitive so-and-so." Guys, stay away from that stuff. There’s a reason that we evangelical Christians have been against drinking. It ruins lives.
How many men have been seduced by the bottle?
Remember Xerxes (Esther 1)? Here was a king who threw away his marriage basically because he was too stoned to know what on earth he was asking his wife, Vashti, to do.
Let anesthesia be for the sick! Paul told Timothy that it was OK to have a little wine for his stomach’s sake (1 Timothy 5:23). It’s like the old bit W.C. Fields did: "I carry a flask of whiskey in case of snake bite," he quipped. "In my right pocket is the flask; in my left pocket I carry a snake!"
In all seriousness, the point of verses 4-7 is not just about booze (as bad as that can be). It’s about focus and discipline in life. It’s about sticking to the hard stuff. A drunken king could forget the laws, and the oppressed in the process end up deprived of their rights. And lack of focus in other areas can trip a man up as well.
It’s about when you’re a student sticking to the books until you’re on top of the subject, and not giving up. It’s about working hard at a boring job like stocking shelves or making burgers. Like Tony Evans says, there’s nothing wrong with working at McDonald’s—as long as you plan to own it one day! It’s about working at your marriage and not taking your wife for granted. It’s about living within your means and not running up credit card debt to the sky. It’s about working at being a father, and not neglecting your kids. It’s about being focused as an overcomer in life, not just "getting by" with the minimum effort. The third key is to remember to be focused—remember the importance of discipline.

(4) Remember the helpless (justice) (8-9).

8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."

Another measure of a man is whether in his strength he forgets the ones who are weak. This is not just a king’s call—it’s a man’s call.
Let me give you three quick examples or areas where the weak need the hand of a man to make it on.
The first is the poor and destitute, especially the homeless. Men, what is your reaction when you encounter a "street person"? Is it How can I help? or is it Get a job! You bet there are a lot of freeloaders out there. But even more people on the street are either mentally unstable or physically unable. A strong man does not need to prove his strength on the backs of the weak. A strong man, a real man, lends his strength to pull up and along the weak.
A second example is your attitude toward our persecuted brethren in places like Sudan. Do you have a heart of tenderness for the 2 million plus who have lost their lives for the sake of the name of Jesus? Or the 200,000 children, overwhelming the orphans or slaughtered Christian parents, who have been sold into slavery—yes, 21st century slavery! —what about them? A real man doesn’t say, "Hey, Africa is one tough place!" A man is measured by his compassion as well as his strength.
A final example: a man and the America slaughter of the unborn—legal abortion on demand since 1973. A study done in the mid-80s said that the vast majority of abortions were not the free choice the mothers involved, but that a man—typically the father—put pressure on the mother to "end it." A real man would not only not be a party to this evil, he has compassion on the little lives being snuffed out in the name of choice.
Our Jewish friends have a way of putting it. "Be a real mensch!" Guys, there’s a world of difference between being a male and being a man. To be a man all you need is an Y chromosome. A man is a male who remembers where he came from—his spiritual legacy; he knows who he belongs to and gets control over his sexuality; he stays focused and disciplined, and he speaks up for the voiceless. A man speaks up for the voiceless…the poor…be an advocate…he’s a real mensch!

On this father’s day, I’d like to give all the men here an opportunity to rededicate yourself to the Lord—as a man of God, as a father, as a husband, as a young unmarried man. In a minute I’m going to lead you in a prayer. If that prayers expresses the desire of your heart to live as a more fully formed man of God, at the end I’ll ask you to stand and we’ll pray that prayer once again, but this time together.

Here’s that prayer:

Lord Jesus, I am yours.
Use me as your man.
Cleanse me by your blood.
Give me Your Spirit to strengthen me.
And I will serve you with all I have.
For all my days, Amen.